Two years ago, I left Christianity. I had been a believer since I was fourteen and while I was going through abuse by a minister, I did a lot of cutting; as well as two suicide attempts. Whenever I cut, God feels far away from me. I thought God didn't want me anymore, which is a VERY lonely feeling. Nick (who is also in ministry) was distraught that I had left. I told him if God really wanted me, He would come for me. Nick talked with one of his friends about it and he told Nick I wouldn't be gone for very long. I kid you not, three days later, I had a dream. This is the dream:
I was in an attic, and the only light was coming from a window. I was in chains and there were these giant demonic bugs (looked kinda like roaches) holding the chains. Suddenly, Jesus showed up in front of me. I started saying horrible stuff to him (I don't remember what they were but I remember they were absolutely terrible). I started crying and in my tears I uttered "....Help me please...." Jesus took out a sword and cut the chains. The chains broke and the bugs (which I believe were demons) left. I embraced Jesus, thanking him. He then told me I had a mission, but he didn't tell me what it was. As I would be walking down the streets, I saw the bugs around other people. I got rid of the bugs in Jesus name whenever I came across them. In the end, Jesus showed up again with a bunch of angels. These angels were HUGE!!!! Had to be at least 16 feet tall (though I'm not good with measuring)! I went to Jesus and hugged him again, and he smiled and told me I did a good job.
After I had this dream, I realized Jesus had come for me - just like I said he would if he really wanted me. I came back to Christianity, and have been one (again) ever since. I've had my rough patches, and only recently have I really learned just how deep Jesus' love for me is, and even that, I truly don't know just how deep it is. His love is deeper than we can ever imagine! He loves you more than you could ever know. He wants you. He wants to rescue you, just let him :)