Monday, August 21, 2017


I have an addictive personality and I tend to move from one addiction to another.  I went from porn, to cutting, to eating.  In a sense, you could even say I have a drug problem since I've had two massive drug overdoses.  I could EASILY get addicted to the heavy stuff like drugs and alcohol.  The reason I'm not is my husband has all my meds locked up, and I have acid reflux so that rules out alcohol.

No matter what your addiction is, it is hard to break free.  Addictions take you to a place of euphoria in a sense.  When I cut, endorphins are released which gives me that "feel good" feeling, then it numbs the emotional pain.  I'm not going to lie, it really does feel good - in the moment.  Once that euphoria is over though, you're back to where you were before - same issues, same pains, same brokenness.  What if there was something out there though?

Enter Jesus.

I know, you saw this one coming didn't you, lol!  Just hear me out okay?  We have this empty hole we are constantly trying to fill.  We fill it with all sorts of crap: drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.  Do they really fill that hole though, or are you constantly needing more and more to fill it?  Eventually, your life revolves around that addiction 24/7 - waiting for your next fix.  I think about food every waking moment, and sometimes even in my sleep!  Hell I've even hallucinated food!  It's miserable because I never feel full - physically and mentally.  I constantly need more and more food.  My stomach is a bottomless pit (though my thighs and chicken wings aren't).  There's a hole inside me though that can never be filled.  What if, I relied on Jesus to fill it though?

I'm not saying it's easy to switch from your addiction to being content in Jesus, I'd be lying if I said that.  No, it's hard as hell to change!  The only one who can truly fill that hole though is Jesus.  He gives you rest.  He gives you peace unlike any fix could give you.  Sometimes there are moments where you are overwhelmed with joy, but then those emotions die down.  Don't be dependent on those highs - they don't last.  But the truth is still there.  The truth is He can set you free from your addiction.  It'll take work, patience, and trust.  You'll need to keep going to Him and ask Him to help you get through each and every day.  No one is perfect at this, I'm still learning  myself.  But I can tell you this, He is BIGGER than your addiction and can heal you not only from your addiction, but also the deep rooted problems that brought you to that addiction in the first place.  He can heal you!  You need to just let Him and depend on Him.

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