A Letter To My Future Husband

 To my future husband,

Life is not always easy, as I have learned many times the hard way. I have had to learn many difficult lessons in life, and though they were painful to go through, I don’t regret them because they gave me the gift of wisdom. Right now I am going through a period of a lot of growth in my life. For the first time, I am on my own. I have been enjoying my alone time, though, it does get lonely at times. There are times it would be nice to have a companion with me. I know right now, I am not ready for any intimate relationships. I still have more growth needed done, as well as healing. I want to make sure that whenever you and I are together, I am my best self - for you and me. I don’t know if we know each other yet or not, but I do know you’re out there. I don’t even know if you’re reading this. I have come a long ways, but I still have a ways to go before I’m ready. I know when the time comes though, we both will be ready. It won’t be rushed, it won’t be forced, and it will definitely be something that God has guided us in. I know He is preparing both of us. So many guys see me as just as a body - either just to get off on or they’re repulsed by me. I know you will be different though. I mean, it’s not like you’re not going to notice my body at all, you are human after all (and a guy for that matter). However, the thing you’ll be attracted to the most with me, is my heart. You’ll see my heart for God first. You’ll see that Jesus is my first love, and He is who I serve, who I obey, who I love above anyone and anything else. Next, you’ll see my love for others, my love to help and serve people. My heart especially for those who are broken and hurting. I know looking at me, I’m not the “prettiest” girl out there. I don’t look like these fake models out there. I have scars and stretch marks and other imperfections. However, I know when you look at me, you will see me through God’s eyes. You’ll see my heart, and my inner beauty will make the rest of me radiate in your eyes. What was other men’s trash will be your treasure. What other men rejected, you’ll practically crave. Things won’t be picture perfect though with us, because no relationship is. Every relationship takes work, especially the ones that are worth it. Yes, we will have great times together. We’ll pull pranks on each other, go to the gym together, travel together, go to the park together, go to concerts together, watch movies together, go to the beach or the lake together, read together, go for walks together, maybe other things like write music together, or maybe do martial arts together, maybe you’re a total nerd like me and we’ll go to anime conventions and cosplay together! We’ll do Bible studies together, maybe we’ll even cook together. I’d like to one day conquer my fear of cage diving with great white sharks and we could do that together! There are many great things we’ll do together, and we’ll have a lifetime to do them together. I’ll cook your favorite meals for you every day, keep our home clean, make you lunch for work, I’ll be your biggest ally and support. I’ll take care of you when you don’t feel well. We’ll have lots of cuddle time, hehe. I’ll be there to comfort you when you’re down, and to celebrate with you in your accomplishments. We’ll go to church together, go shopping together, play games together (if you’re into that). It’ll be nice to go to bed with you next to me every night. You’ll be the last thing I see every night, and maybe I’ll hear your cute little snores at night, lol. Then in the morning you’ll be the first thing I see, messy bed head and morning breath and everything lol. I’ll try to get up before you though, so I can make sure your coffee and breakfast is ready when you’re up, because I get feeling like the dead first thing lol! We’ll have kids, and we’ll raise our kids to love the Lord and want to serve Him too. This world is a scary place to live in right now, but we’ll raise our children in truth, reading the Bible to them and praying with them every night before they go to bed and every morning before school, so they will start their day and end their day hearing God’s truth. If you’re a nerd like me, we’ll probably raise our kids like nerds too, like into anime and Lord of the Rings and stuff. Maybe we’ll teach them martial arts too, that way if they get bullied they can defend themselves or any other kids being bullied. Maybe you and I will even do ministry together, that would be awesome! However, we’ll go through difficulties too. We’ll go through times where we argue over stuff, some small, stupid things we’ll easily makeup over later, other things that are bigger and will take time to recover. Sometimes we’ll need to give each other space, though I hope never the silent treatment. Sometimes, no matter how much we may love each other, sparks will fly and our tempers will be let loose, and we’ll feel bad afterwards. As long as we come to each other though and ask for forgiveness and forgive though, then I know we’ll be okay. No matter what, we must ALWAYS put Christ first. It’s that cheesy triangle example. If Christ is the top corner, as long as we keep moving towards Him, we’ll move towards each other. One of the lessons I had to learn from my previous marriage is that when you and I are married, for me to remain holy and to honor you and most of all God, I will have to be more careful with who I’m friends with. I can’t leave room for anyone who could compete with you for my affection or my attention. Only two people can have my heart, you and Jesus. If anyone else has my heart, I will have to remove them from my life. Even if it hurts for a time, I know in the end it’s best, because I want to honor you and God, and my love for you and the Lord triumphs over any joy I may get from other relationships. I’ve learned many lessons and am learning still. I look forward to the day when I will be ready for you, and you will be ready for me. We will share our goals and dreams together, and as scary as it is, we’ll be completely vulnerable with each other. I look forward to sharing our lives together one day and growing together. Know that I am waiting for you and preparing myself for you. I love you, forever and ever!

Love always,

Your future bride

Unrealistic Standards of Beauty

 I’m gonna go on a bit of a tangent. I’m so tired of society’s unrealistic standards of beauty - and EVERYONE in some way has been effected by it. I’ve seen how guys ogle at girls who are teeny tiny (like the model in the second pic) and say “that’s the ideal woman!” But most women don’t look like that - nor CAN they even look like that! We are all built differently. Some girls are curvier than others. There is no “ideal” body. We were all created exactly as we were supposed to be. It is a flaw in OUR character and to think otherwise. A curvy girl is just as beautiful as a thin girl. It’s the same with men though. Women will look at men with abs and think “I’ve gotta have that!” If the guy is super thin though, she won’t even look at him. Although, it seems “dad bod” is in for a lot of women these days. Anyway, my point is, the standard of beauty all around has become ridiculously unrealistic. We judge everyone based on whether they LOOK a certain way. Whether she’s got a tiny waist or he’s got a six pack. She’s got at least a D-Cup size bra or he’s got nice pecs. Whether they’ve got a nice trunk in the back or whatever. Some even go as far to say “no one above this weight/height!” People don’t take in consideration of health. For an example, I’m 5’6”. A healthy weight for my height is around 150. At one point, I was considered underweight, I was 139 lbs, yet I was still called by other kids around me fat because I didn’t have this tiny waist or flat stomach like other girls. What’s worse I have body dysmorphic disorder so already every time I looked in the mirror I felt like I was looking at a monster. Even when you take my views of myself out though, kids thought I was fat, even though I was underweight because from an early age we are brought up to think of what the “ideal” person looks like. We are trained to think this way. Instead of considering every individual is created differently, just as every person’s fingerprint is different, no person’s body is built the same. We are not like animals where you take a dog to a dog show and they say “the perfect height, weight, fur length, fur texture, fur color, eye color, eye shape, body shape, tail shape, tail length, ear shape, ear length will make the perfect dog for this breed!” We are human beings! We are ALL created in the very image of God! We should treat each other as such. What arrogance do we have to say “this image-bearer of God is not the ideal image of beauty to me!” Shame on all of us who have done that, because we have all done it at some point. True beauty comes from within, and then it radiates like the sun! We should promote health for all bodies. That doesn’t mean if you personally want to work for that six pack you shouldn’t, or any other kind of fitness. Make sure however to set REALISTIC goals for yourself though. As for others, look at their hearts, that’s where their true beauty lies.