Falling Apart

I was listening to the song Falling Apart by Papa Roach and I knew the lead singer Jacoby Shaddix is a Christian, but something sounded different about this song from a lot of their past songs.  I looked up the lyrics and thought, "Huh, there seems to be a Christian message in here."  I showed my husband and asked him, "If I didn't tell you this was a Papa Roach song, would you think this was a Christian song?"  He agreed with me and said it was what we call "Roaring Lambs."  Here are the lyrics:

I'll follow you out of the dark
I tried it my way but I keep fallin' apart
All that I see is the wickedness around me
I refuse to believe the apocalypse inside of me
I can't even trust myself
I'm burning in my skin
Standing at the gates of hell
But nobody will let me in
I'll follow you out of the dark
I tried it my way but I keep fallin' apart
I'll follow you with all of my heart
I'm tired of my ways cause I keep fallin' – I'm fallin' apart
I stand here again
Forsaken in a place that feels like
I can never win
I'm reaching for a saving grace
I can't even trust no one
But I need to rise above
I don't think I'm good enough
To feel your perfect love
I'll follow you out of the dark
I tried it my way but I keep fallin' apart
I'll follow you with all of my heart
I'm tired of my ways cause I keep fallin' – I'm fallin' apart
I'm fallin' – I'm fallin' apart
I'm fallin' – I'm fallin' apart
I'm fallin' apart
Your love's a fire
It's alive and I'm burning in it
I'm in the ashes of mercy
I'm covered in it
I fall hard and you carry me
I fall apart so you can set me free
Your love's a fire
It's alive and I'm burning in it
I'm in the ashes of mercy
I'm covered in it
I fall hard and you carry me
I fall apart so you can set me free
I'll follow you out of the dark
I tried it my way but I keep fallin' apart
I'll follow you with all of my heart
I'm tired of my ways cause I keep fallin' – I'm fallin' apart
I'm fallin' – I'm fallin' apart
Without you I'm fallin' apart
I'm fallin' – I'm fallin' apart 

( http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/paparoach/fallingapart.html )

I really relate to these lyrics, and honestly, I'm sure a lot of people do.   We cry out to God and say, "I'll follow you wherever you go with all of my heart!  I've tried every other way, my way doesn't work!  No way works but your way!  I'm falling apart without you!  Get me out of this dark place!"  That's our cry, the chorus, "I'll follow you out of the dark, I tried it my way but I keep fallin' apart.  I'll follow you with all of my heart, I'm tired of my ways cause I keep fallin' - I'm fallin' apart" is our cry!

You come to the first verse, "All I see is the wickedness around me, I refuse to see the apocalypse inside of me.  I can't even trust myself, I'm burning in my skin.  Standing at the gates of hell, but nobody will let me in."  I often see the wickedness around the me, around the world, even the wickedness inside me, and it greatly disturbs me.  I don't always see the ways how I destroy myself.  I don't trust anyone, including myself.  Sometimes I feel I'm so wicked not even hell would accept me, which I know is completely irrational but I do feel that way.  But the fact is, the reason I can't get to hell is because I don't belong there.  I'm a child of the King.  Jesus Christ saved me, and that's why hell's doors won't open for me.

Verse two, "I stand here again, forsaken in a place that feels like I can never win.  I'm reaching for saving grace, I can't trust no one, but I need to rise above.  I don't think I'm good enough to feel your perfect love."  I often feel like I'm in a place I can't ever win.  I reach for Christ during my most desperate times.  Whether you're like me and have a hard time trusting others or not, He's the most trustworthy person and He's going to help you when you're most desperate.  I often don't think I'm good enough for His perfect love and the truth is, I'm not and never will be.  But He's that great that He gives it freely despite that I don't deserve it.

Bridge, "You're love's a fire, it's alive and I'm burning in it.  I'm in the ashes of mercy, I'm covered in it.  I fall hard and you carry me, I fall apart so you can set me free."  I love this part of the song.  Christ's love is like a fire, it's alive!  It burns in us!  We are covered in His mercy by His blood!  When we fall, Christ carries us.  Isaiah 40:11 says,
"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."
He carries us close to His heart!  He sets us free!