25 Years

It's my birthday today, I've officially lived a quarter of a century.  If I've learned anything living this long, it's lean on the people who care about you.  Everyone has them, even if it's not many people.  If you don't know who they are, find out who they are, you have them, you just might not know who they are.  Don't take advantage of them, they'll only take so much until, like you, they can't take anymore crap.  People will leave you, even those you care about the most, even if you try to hold on to them.  So when you hold on to them, hold on to them loosely.  If they truly care about you and leave, they'll come back.  If they don't come back, they're not good enough for you for leaving you in the first place.  Hate to be blunt, but buck up, shit happens.  Grow up.  Don't punish yourself or other people when it happens.  Don't have a pity party.  If you don't have anyone to rely on then figure out why that is.  Take an honest look at yourself and figure out why you don't have anyone.  Is it you really don't have anyone?  If you don't, you may need to change some things you're doing that is causing people to not want to be around you.  Maybe you're like me and you just have a hard time trusting people and it seems like every time you finally begin to trust someone, they let you down.  News flash:  Everyone is imperfect!  Everyone is going to let you down one way or another.  You're just going to have to learn to trust people.  It's not going to be an instant thing, it's going to take time but you're going to have to learn to trust people (and the right kind of people).
Your gut feeling is NOT always right.  You can't always trust it.  Sometimes it's right, sometimes it's wrong, and sometimes it's just indigestion.  You can't always go with your gut.  Your emotions play a lot of tricks on you.  As a highly emotional person I can say my emotions have caused me a lot more harm than good.  I often wish I was on the non-emotional side of the spectrum of Autism than being so emotional.  They cause me nothing but trouble.  Don't trust your emotions.  Like I mentioned before, don't have a pity party.  People don't care for that, they just think you're whiny. You can't always trust yourself, which is another reason why you need to rely on others.  You are NOT always right!  There are times you are WRONG!  You need others to point out when you are right and to correct you when you are wrong.

The thing I learned the most is trust God in everything.  You can't outsmart him, you can't outwit him, twice I tried to end my life but he wanted me to live instead, so I lived instead.  There was a time I hated God, but he changed me and became my everything.  He gives you hope, he gives you strength, he gives you peace.  If there is anyone you can rely on, it is Christ.  He gives the breath of life to the infant and takes the breath away to the senior.  He'll collect every tear you cry.  When you feel alone like no one cares about you he wraps his arms around you and says, "I care about you."  He'll never let you down.  He'll always be there for you.  Even if you don't feel him there with you, he's there.  He protects you from the evil one.  He's the one you can always rely on no matter what.

I'm still learning these things, but these are what I've learned.