All We Need

Well, today I'm getting the results for my CT Scan.  I've had stomach issues for over 16 months.  We haven't been able to figure out what's wrong with me, no matter how many tests we run.  People know me at the ER now because I've gone so often.  I've jokingly told them "How much is rent here?"  Jokes aside, it's been really frustrating not knowing what's wrong with me.  I vomit just about every day (though I haven't for a week now 😀).  Sometimes there's blood, and sometimes I cough up blood.  It really scares me when that happens.  My stomach has started hurting lately too.  It feels all twisted up.  I'm hoping the CT Scans have found the cause of my stomach issues.  If not, I'll have to do an endoscopy.

Anyway, I often feel like my body and my mind are betraying me.  If you've read my previous blog entries, I have A LOT of mental illnesses.  For example, if I have to get an endoscopy, I will have to miss my morning psych meds - which includes my anti-psychotic.  When I don't take my anti-psychotic, I notice a difference within hours (in other words, if I have to miss them, my husband is going to have to make sure I don't go on Facebook because I could go a bit crazy).  Within hours, I start to hallucinate and I get really paranoid (sometimes even delusional).  It's really difficult to calm me down when that happens.

I read this a few days ago:





My mind and body may grow weak, but God is my strength; he is all I need.

Psalm 73:26





He is all I need....

It's true!  He is truly ALL we need!  Whatever we're going through, he is ALWAYS going to be there with us, through it.  We're never truly alone.  No doubt, we often feel alone.  "No one understands me.  No one understands what I'm going through."  These sort of thoughts run in my head CONSTANTLY.  With all my mental illnesses?  With my past?  Who could possibly know what I go through?  Well, even if I were the only person who struggled with what I struggle with (though I know I'm not the only one), I'm still not alone.  See, Jesus is always with us.  He's not going to leave you.  He's got you 😄





"I will never never fail you.  I will never abandon you."

Hebrews 13:5





He's never going to fail you, and he's never going to abandon you.  It can often feel like he's really far away, or even that he's not there at all.  But he IS there!  Have people abandoned you?  He won't.  There have been times I've felt completely alone - like I'm trapped in this failure of a vessel.  Don't get me wrong, God does NOT make mistakes, so when I say a failure of a vessel, that's not what I mean.  It's like, when Paul says our bodies are temples to God (1 Corinthians 6:19), my temple has been torn apart, graffiti'd on, and allowed prostitutes to take over!  I self-sabatouge.  Whether it's self-harm or ruining relationships - good relationships, or allowing bad relationships to take over (I'm a bit of a doormat).  You know what though?  God can fix that broken temple.  Maybe in this life, maybe in the next.  He still resides in that run down temple though.  He will never fail you, and he will never abandon you.

All we need is Christ....




O LORD, I give my life to you.  I trust in you, my God!

Psalm 25:1