Saturday, April 1, 2017


I recently watched the Netflix series "13 Reasons Why" and I've got to tell you, it's very emotional.  It's about how a high school girl killed herself, and left behind tapes of the reasons why she killed herself.  As someone who has attempted three times, I really identified with her.  Obviously, there were some things I can't say "I know how that feels" completely.  Yes, I went through severe bullying growing up, and was even sexually abused.  But when I was being bullied, there wasn't really much of social media yet.  This girl was bullied at school and outside of school.  She was also raped.  I will tell you, this is an important series to watch, especially if you want to understand what it's like to be bullied, or sexually assaulted, or even feeling like ending things permanently.  If you have actually gone through rape or have lost someone to suicide though, you may not want to watch it because it does show it.  For me, I started to cry a bit during the last episode when the parents found their daughter bled to death in the bathtub.  It made me think, "Is that how my parents and my husband felt when they saw me when I made my attempts?"  Watching how the people who cared about her go through the loss was difficult.  It made me think, "If I were gone, especially by my own hands, would they be like this with me too?"  I don't want to give everything away to the series in case you do decide to watch it.  It's on Netflix and surprisingly, one of the co-producers is Selena Gomez.

Anyway, if you are feeling like you want to end things, and that there's no way out, I feel you, I really do.  Sometimes it feels like it's going on forever and it's slowly suffocating you.  You want out, you want to be rescued, but it seems like no matter how much you cry out that you're drowning, no one sees you.  I've been there, and to this day I still go through that often.  People don't get us.  But get this in your head, you are NOT alone!  There are people who care about you; they may not understand you, but they care about you.  People would be crushed if something happened to you.  If you are feeling like you want to end things for good, there are people you can talk to.  Trust me, nothing is worth losing your life over.  Your life is precious.  If you need to talk and you don't know anyone who could help, call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255

Please, get help, I'm begging you, don't throw your life away.

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