My Demons

I just found this song yesterday and I really feel this song.

Mayday! Mayday!
The ship is slowly sinking
They think I'm crazy but they don't know the feeling
They're all around me,
Circling like vultures
They wanna break me and wash away my colors
Wash away my colors

Take me high and I'll sing
Oh you make everything okay (okay, okay)
We are one in the same
Oh you take all of the pain away (away, away)
Save me if I become
My demons

I cannot stop this sickness taking over
It takes control and drags me into nowhere
I need your help, I can't fight this forever
I know you're watching,
I can feel you out there

Take me high and I'll sing
Oh you make everything okay (okay, okay)
We are one in the same
Oh you take all of the pain away (away, away)
Save me if I become
My demons

Take me over the walls below
Fly forever
Don't let me go
I need a savior to heal my pain
When I become my worst enemy
The enemy

Take me high and I'll sing
Oh you make everything okay (okay, okay)
We are one in the same
Oh you take all of the pain away (away, away)
Save me if I become
My demons

Take me high and I'll sing
Oh you make everything okay (okay, okay)
We are one in the same
Oh you take all of the pain away (away, away)
Save me if I become
My demons

Some people think I'm crazy, but no one understands these feelings I have.  Not even I understand these emotions.  I'm surrounded by these feelings and I'm like prey to them.  They pick at my bones and tear off my flesh, leaving only my skeleton left.  

I can't help that I'm sick.  I'm getting sicker and I can't stop it.  Perhaps it's fate that I continue to get sicker.  I need help.  Whether it's my depression or my cutting, I need help because it's keeps getting worse.  I can't continue to fight a losing battle.

I'm my own worst enemy.  I need God to rescue me from my despair.  I often pray and ask God to not let me go.  I'm often afraid I'm just going to fade away in the wind.  I'm afraid I'm just going to walk away from Him.  I need Him to hold onto me as long as He can.

God can make everything okay if He chooses to.  Sometimes I wonder if he allows me to be miserable because maybe he's trying to teach me something through this; in which if that's the case I'm failing miserably.

My sickness is my demon.  It's my thorn.  Some day it will go away, I'm just afraid of what it might take for it to go away.....