Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Alana and the Man

The pain Alana was feeling was unbearable.  The memories broke her to pieces.  She couldn't take it anymore.  She went to the kitchen quietly to not disturb her husband and grabbed the scissors.  She took the scissors to the bathroom and shut the door so no one would see.  She rolled up her sleeve and made a fist in her hand.  The tears could no longer fall from her face.  She cried about the memories so much she no longer could cry over them.  The blade sliced through her skin as each time she tried to cut harder and harder.  "I have to do this," Alana thought.  "It's the only way to numb the pain."  The scissors began to be stained with her blood as she kept cutting.  Alana thought, "Why does this have to happen to me?  Why can't I be normal?"

Suddenly, Alana felt a hand on hers that gripped the scissors.  She looked up and saw a man who wasn't her husband.  This man had a look of pity and compassion.  She had never seen anyone like him before.  The man held her hand and told her, "Don't do this to yourself, you're worth more than this."  Alana asked, "Who are you and what would you know?  Are you some sort of angel God has sent to stop me?  He's never stopped me before so why would he all of a sudden care enough to stop me now?"  The man smiled, "Deep down you know who I am.  You're too afraid to admit who I am, but you know already."  Alana looked away from the man, "You're too late, there's nothing that can stop me."  The man answered, "It's your choice whether you stop or not, I did give you free will after all.  But you don't have to do this anymore like you think you do."  Alana pouted, "You heard that huh?  Well, if you really wanted to me quit you would have told me to quit a long time ago."

"I did tell you," the man explained.  "I screamed 'don't do it!' You did not hear me though.  I spoke through other people, your friends, family, and husband.  They told you how hurtful it was that you're doing this.  You did not listen though."

"Why does it matter that I do this?  I'm not hurting anyone.  Since I've been doing this people have said I seem better."

"But you know you're not better doing this.  This is destroying you, and those who know you're doing this, it's destroying them too."

Alana's eyes began to get teary, "No one understands what I'm going through.  I'm all alone in this.  This is the only thing that gives me any relief."  The man had compassion on Alana, "You're not alone.  I know what you're going through.  I can give you relief."  Alana grew angry, "You're never here for me anymore!  You're so distant I can't feel you near me anymore!  You don't care what happens to me.  You're probably the one making me suffer so I can LEARN something!"

"Alana, I'm always with you, even if you don't feel me with you.  I do care what happens to you, why do you think I went to the cross?  You don't need to do this to yourself because I already went through this for you."

Alana asked, "Do you think I'm still beautiful, even with all these scars on my arms?"  The man smiled warmly and showed her his scarred hands, "I have scars too.  I know what it's like to have scars.  But I don't see you with your scars.  When I see you, I see what you'll be like when you're in my Kingdom - perfect and flawless.  Yes, you are still beautiful in my eyes."

Alana started getting a warm feeling in her heart like she hadn't had in a long time.  She knew what he was saying was true.  What reason would he have to lie?  Alana dropped the scissors and began to sob, which she had not done in a while.  "I just wanted to numb the pain."  The man held her close to his heart, "I know, but you don't have to numb the pain anymore.  I'm always here for you.  Give your pain to me."

"I will LORD," Alana answered through her tears.  "I will give you my pain, because in my weakness you're made strong."

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