Wednesday, March 30, 2016
I've thought a lot about "destiny." I used to think I was destined to kill myself one day. I've told other people I thought I was destined to eventually kill myself because of my suicidal tendencies. But what if I can change my destiny? What if I choose to live instead?
Those of us who are suicidal, we don't have to give into our tendencies. We can LIVE! You may ask, "What if I don't want to live anymore? I'm tired of living this way and it seems like this is the only way of escape for me." I thought that way too, and sometimes I still think that way. But there's always a way of escape, whether we see it or not. There's always another option. We may not want that option, but it's always there.
Sometimes life just gets so exhausting. We're so sick of how our lives are we just want rest. That rest will eventually come, though it may not be in our timing. We can't play God and choose when we die. We are not the authors of our story. It is the author's choice when the story ends. It's the author's choice when to put in and take out other characters of the story. We just have to go along with it. Besides, you never know, some of those characters may one day come back in the story!
Sometimes it feels like the author wants us to suffer and we get so sick of it. But we've got to hang on. It's not that the author wants us to suffer. God is there with us through our suffering. We've got to grasp onto His feet and allow Him to help us get through it. Our suffering doesn't always end when we want it too. Sometimes it lasts a lifetime, and you may say, "I can't handle a lifetime of suffering!" But suffering also makes us into stronger people. We may feel weak, but it CAN make us stronger even if we don't feel like it. We can do this! We can change our destinies and live instead of destroy ourselves, as well as others.