War Over Me

So I said I was going to take a break from Papa Roach, I guess I'm just taking a break from the negative songs because they do have some positive songs with their newer ones.  This new one is called War Over Me.

War over me

I'm standing on the front lines

I'm fighting for my soul

I've walked a self destructive lonely road

I read the warning signs but

I was too blind to see

I had to feel the pain 'till I believed

I have a purpose

This is War

This is War

Since the day I was born

I would die just to live just to bleed

I will fight

For my life

Turn my darkness to light

This is war – it's a war over me

War over me

My pity feeds destruction

My hunger turns to greed

But nothing ever fills this hole in me

No peace on the horizon

No peace in anything

I had to hurt myself till I believed

I have a purpose

This is War

This is War

Since the day I was born

I would die just to live just to bleed

I will fight

For my life

Turn my darkness to light

This is war – it's a war over me

I'm caught up in the crossfire

I'm caught up in the pain

This gift of desperation

Is exactly what I need

I'm falling like an empire

I'm calling out your name

I'm locked in my own prison

Tell me help is on the way

Tell me help is on the way

I will fight

For this life

Turn my darkness to light

This is war – it's a war over me

This is War

This is War

Since the day I was born

I would die just to live just to bleed

I will fight

For my life

Turn my darkness to light

This is war – it's a war over me

This is war – it's a war over me

War over me

I have a purpose

I'm in a war over myself.  Satan is fighting to have my life and my soul.  Sometimes it seems like he's winning with my cutting and being suicidal.  I'm very self-destructive.  I get into destructive relationships.  I ask for warning signs.  With my Asperger's, I usually don't see them.  I don't understand social situations so while someone may be sending me signals but telling me something different, I go by their word because I'm blind to their signals.

This recent loss I've had, has left a big hole in my heart, and it feels like nothing is going to fill it.  I have no peace right now and it seems like no peace is going to be heading my way.  I've been so overwhelmed with emotions and Sunday they were so overwhelming, I hurt myself.

I'm caught in pain, I'm caught in a crossfire for my soul between Satan and God.  I'm desperate.  I'm locked in my own prison.  People say the door to the prison is open but it seems shut to me.  I keep crying out to God for help.  It seems like I'm just crying to myself, but I know he hears my cries.

I will keep trying to fight though.  I will fight for my life.  I won't let Satan get a hold of me and take my life away from me.  God will turn this darkness into light, I don't know when or how, but he will.  He always has before I know he'll somehow do it again.  I'm fighting for the people who care about me, and I'm fighting for God so I don't dishonor him.

I have a purpose....God has given me a purpose.  I don't know what that purpose is but if he's saved me from dying so many times (three times that I know of), he must have a purpose for me to be here.