So Help Me God

I'm debating with myself how to write this entry without giving too many details.  I'm usually an open book but there are some matters about myself I tend to be very private about.  I don't want to give too many details, but if I could help someone who is going through what I'm going through, it would make my suffering all worth it.

I got really hurt this year by someone I trusted, I let my guard down when I'm usually very heavily guarded and I shouldn't have.  I keep holding onto that pain and obsessing over it.  I want to escape this pain but it doesn't seem to leave me no matter where I go...it always catches up to me.  I was listening earlier this evening to the song "Liar, Liar (Takes One to Know One)" by Taking Back Sunday and it reminded me how much this person hurt me.  Then I listened to Fireflight's song, "So Help Me God" and I've heard this song many times, but it's never resonated with me like it did tonight.  I feel the entire song but I cry the chorus every single damn day.

So help me, God
To let this go
To let this go
So help me, God
(Become what I believe)
To break this hold
(I'm afraid to leave)
To find myself
(I just need to breathe)

I don't want this to control me any longer.   I want to be free!  I just want to let this pain and everything with it go and move on with my life!  I often wonder if there will ever be an end to it, will this always control me?  Will I ever be free?  I wonder if the only way it'll end is if I go away.  But there has to be another way!  I know there is!  Through Christ in our weaknesses we are made strong!  2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul says

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

So though I am dead weak right now, through Christ I will be made strong in this.  I can't take the easy way out...or I should say easier way out.  No, I need to keep going through it until I make it past it, and I WILL make it past it!  As the song says in the bridge:

It's not too late
It's not too late
To leave it all behind
It's not too late
It's not too late

 

Be careful how you use your words, your words could make someone, or it could break someone to the the point of death.  You may intend for your words to be good, but think about how that person is going to interpret what you say before saying them.  If they're as tender as I am, they could be easily broken and to the point of no repair if you break them too badly.  So please, be careful with what you say to people.