The inner turmoil he goes through is a lot like me when I'm having an episode.
"So-and-so tricked you! You can't trust them anymore!"
"But so-and-so is my friend, they wouldn't intentionally hurt me...."
"They lied to you! You can't trust anyone anymore!"
This sort of battle within myself can go on for hours - even days. This effects me so badly, that I'll hardly eat anything and just spend my time isolating and crying. Being that I haven't seen all the movies yet or even read the books, I didn't know much about Gollum. But as I was watching the second movie last night, I felt pity for Gollum. He wanted to be good, but when he felt betrayed by his only friend (Frodo), the darkness in him won. The darkness can be difficult to fight, I know that all too well. It's a battle we must all battle until the day we die. It can feel like a lonely battle too; like you're fighting this all by yourself - but you're not. The people who care about you help you fight this battle too. Most importantly, God helps you fight this battle.
I'm not really sure how to beat the inner turmoil I go through. I don't know how to end the episodes or to stop them before they really get started. I stopped it from happening one time, but I don't think it'll work like it used to anymore now. I've started going through DBT (dialectical Behavioral Therapy) though so hopefully that'll help me. It's only been recently that I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, but I guess Tolkien knew something about it before everyone else did.
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