Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

It's September, which means it's suicide prevention awareness month.  If you've been following my blog for a while, you know I have a lot to say about the topic on suicide - as someone who has attempted four times in the past nine years and many "almost" attempts.  Suicidal ideations and self-harm are things I still struggle with nearly daily.  Some days are harder than others.  I know what it's like to want to give up, like there's not much left to live for and and you're just tired of the intense pain you feel.  I know what it's like to feel worthless.  I know what it's like to feel like there's not much hope left.  If you are feeling this way, know this: YOU are NOT ALONE.  There are people (like myself) who know what you are going through.  I can empathize with you.  You do have a purpose.  You have more worth than you could ever imagine.  My husband did a podcast interview with me this year on the topic of suicide; if you'd like to listen to it click here.

If you know someone who is struggling with suicide (or self-harm), here are some tips on how to reach them.

- Let them know they aren't going through this alone.  That you are there for them no matter what.  People who are suicidal often feel like they're all alone, even if they're surrounded by many people.  Assure them that they aren't alone, and you're not going to leave them.

- Remain calm with them.  I know for me, if someone starts panicking, I start to panic as well.  I know it can be scary to think someone you care about is suicidal.  But if you remain calm, it's easier for them to remain calm as well.

- (If possible) remove anything around them that they could hurt themselves with.  For example, my husband has locked in a safe all of our belts, medications, and rope.  We also don't have any sharp knives in our apartment.  This could upset them and be a bit of an inconvenience, but if they are seriously considering suicide, remove as many harmful things as possible.

- Stay with them.  Don't leave them alone.  When we're alone, we start idealizing ways to hurt ourselves more than if we're with someone.  Feelings of abandonment makes things so much worse.  If you have to, stay with them overnight.  Of course, you can't watch them 24-7 so if things are progressively getting worse, it may be good to take them to the hospital.  I usually say this as a last resort though.  I've had trauma involving hospitals.  Some hospitals are okay and if your meds are out of whack (or you need meds) then the hospital can help with that.  They just usually don't even touch my meds.



If you are struggling with feeling suicidal, please, don't hurt yourself.  You are more valuable than you realize.  The pain may be intense now, it may even be intense for a long time, but it won't last forever.  The pain doesn't go away when you die - it gets passed on to those who care about you.  That pain for them NEVER goes away.  They continually question themselves on what they could've done to stop you.  Even if you make an attempt and you survive, people look at you differently.  People who knew me before my first suicide attempt, look at me differently since after the first suicide attempt.  You don't want that.

I have had suicidal thoughts lately.  I've chosen not to go through with them though.  I don't want to hurt anyone, especially my husband.  I also want to honor God with my life, and ending my life would not honor Him at all.  So I keep going.  I keep living, with hope that the pain won't be as intense for long.  Have hope, that tomorrow will be a new day with new opportunities.