Saturday, February 6, 2016


A year ago from yesterday, I made one of the most foolish mistakes I've ever made.  A year later I'm still suffering the consequences of that mistake.  I don't want to get into details of what that mistake was, it's quite irrelevant.  But at the time, I didn't think I made a mistake.  I was happier than I had been in a long time, until it bit me in the ass later on.  I'm not even sure if the people involved even forgive me.  They say they do, but some of their actions say the opposite.

What do we do when we make mistakes?  Sometimes we can move on quickly, other times we beat ourselves up for a long time.  We've got to be able to forgive ourselves and move on, even if other people don't forgive us.  I have a really hard time with forgiving myself for anything.  I can typically forgive other people easily, but when it comes to myself I don't.  Maybe because I care about other people and I don't care about myself.  I don't know.  They do say you're your worst critic, there's definitely some truth to that.

My husband reminded me once of the verse that says "Love your neighbor as yourself."  I told him that was easy for me except I hate myself.  He said according to the verse I need to love myself.

Hating yourself is false humility.  Humility is loving people as much as you love yourself but if you think you're being humble by hating yourself, you're wrong.  So forgive yourself for your mistakes and move on.  Moving on may take weeks, months, even years.  But it's vital that you do move on.  Even when you do move on, sometimes it'll come back to haunt you, and when that happens pray about it and go on with your day.  Don't let your mistakes cripple you.  Once you're in that pit it's hard to get out and no one wants to go down there with you.  They want to pull you out.

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely right. Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself. If you're a good bass player for instance (And you are) and someone tells you you did a good job, it is not humility to say "No. I didn't. I'm not that good." It is also not spiritual really to say if you were playing a Christian song that "It wasn't me. It was the Lord." You are still the instrument that is used.

    Pride is the opposite side. Pride is saying "Darn right I'm a good bass player and you'd better never forget it."

    Shame and pride are two sides of the same coin. Whether you want to make worse of yourself than you are or more of yourself than you are, either way, you're making the same mistake of avoiding truth.

    Also, since you're your own worst critic, and we all are, this is why you need to listen to other people more often. They can in many cases see things more objectively, but be selective which ones. Choose people who will not just tell you what you want to hear, but will whack you upside the head if they have to.