Faithfulness and Prayer

I feel like lately my blogs have been a bit depressing...I ALWAYS try to add hope in them though.  I've been extremely depressed for a while now, and I'm not sure when it'll let up.  I can't take anything for it because I have bad reactions to them.  So all I've really got is therapy - not saying therapy is bad.  But you know what?  I don't just have therapy....I've got a God who loves me more than I could ever imagine and he's not leaving me.  I've got people in my corner too.  While my depression often makes me feel alone, the fact is I'm not alone.  Even if today everyone left me, I still wouldn't be alone because Christ is with me no matter what.  While most things in life (or even life itself) is fleeting, he isn't - he's forever!  God is forever, and his love is forever!



Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, you forgave them all.

You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior.  You are the hope of everyone on earth, even those who sail on distant seas.

Psalm 65:3;5



We are imperfect people in an imperfect world.  Things are going to suck sometimes.  Sometimes it's going to be people who hurt us, and other times WE are the ones doing the hurting to others.  As someone who really struggles with grace (and bitterness), it can be difficult to forgive.  I always thought I forgave people easily, but recently I've realized that maybe I don't.  I always remember what someone has done to me (strange since I forget about A LOT of things), and it's difficult for me to trust a person to not do what they did to me again.  You know what though?  I have a hard time forgiving myself too.  In a previous blog I said that I have a pretty big burden in that I never forgive myself for anything.  That's a pretty heavy burden to carry for nearly 30 years.  I've definitely got to learn to not only forgive myself, but to extend grace towards others as well.  That's for another entry to discuss though.

The fact is, we don't deserve forgiveness.  We have rebelled against the God of the universe, we have spat in his face and walked away.  We have hated him when he has loved us.  We have told him "I don't need you!  I don't want you!"  Do we deserve his forgiveness for all that?  Nope.  But God is so awesome that he forgives us anyway.  He forgives us for all our rebellion.  He forgives us because he loves us so much.  Jesus paid the price for us so the Father can forgive us!



But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Romans 5:8




While we despised him, he loved us so much that he sent his Son to die for us - just so we can be with him.  Just so we can even talk to him!  Jesus took OUR punishment, so we can one day run into God's arms and hear him say "I love you."  We are like the Prodigal Son in that we rebelled against God; but when we finally return to him he holds us tightly, kissing us and telling us how much he loves us.  This is absolutely incredible!  Can you even imagine?  I know it's difficult for me to.

Then there's the second part of the top verses - verse five.  He faithfully answers our prayers.  I know many times it seems like he isn't listening.  You pour your heart out and yet you only hear silence.
Then there are times where we don't like his answers.  Sometimes we ask for something, and he doesn't give it to us.  When that happens, I think it's easier for us to think he wasn't listening than to think his answer to us was "no."  I've asked God so many times that there would be justice for me.  That all the people who have mistreated me, all the people who abandoned me in my time of need, all the abuse I've been through over the years, that there would be justice for me.  As far as I know, that hasn't happened yet.  This is hard for me, because God said that vengeance was his (Deuteronomy 32:35).  Psalm 103:6 says:



The LORD gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly.




Where is my justice?  Everyone got away with how they treated me!  But I hold onto the truth that he has seen my suffering, and he will give me justice one day.  I may not even see it when it happens, but it will happen.  Anyway, now I'm going on a tangent, lol.

He faithfully answers our prayers....

Sometimes his answers are what we want to hear, sometimes they're not.  But he ALWAYS answers them, and no matter how difficult things may be, he is there WITH you.  He will never leave you, even though sometimes it feels like he's really distant - or not even there at all.  Put your trust in him, that he is taking care of you through whatever it is you're going through.  If he can provide food for the animals in the wild, and the rain and sunshine for the plants to grow, how much more will he provide for his children - YOU?  He cares about you, no, he LOVES you!  Put your hope and trust in him.