Easier to Run

It is always easier to runaway from our problems than to face them head on.  Facing our problems can be messy and challenging.  So what do we turn to?  We turn to worldly things so we can escape the darkness that engulfs us.  We turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, codependency, etc.  We try to drown out our problems.  Those things can help temporarily; but in the long run, they make things worse.  We're so desperate to escape we'll practically sell our souls to the world.  It's not easy facing our problems head on.

I have talked about my mental health issues and addictions in my blog, but yesterday, I found out I have another addiction.  I went to a sleep specialist yesterday and she said I'm too dependent on sleeping pills.  I asked if she meant I was addicted to them and she said yes.  This was a hard pill to swallow - literally.  I've been taking sleeping pills since the sixth grade, and I've always taken them as prescribed (except I did overdose on them once - it was a suicide attempt though).  So she is taking me off the sleeping pills (she thinks I have sleep apnea).

This was difficult for me to hear; I have two other addictions (self-harm and binge eating) I'm working on, plus codependency; now I have this?  It seems like no matter how much I try to get better, no matter how much I try to fight the darkness inside me, something else comes up that adds to the darkness.  I've been ready to throw in the towel and just give up.  What's the point in fighting anymore?  I have NO fight left!

I have no fight left....but you know who does?  Jesus.  I can't fight this on my own, but he can!  He can heal the wounds.  He can help me carry my burdens.  He can help me with my addictions. 




The LORD himself will fight for you.  Just stay calm.

Exodus 14:14



I'm not facing these problems alone.  He is with me and will fight for me when I have no fight left. I just need to depend on him.  Alone, I am weak.  But he is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).  In fact, the previous verse (2 Corinthians 12:9) says:


Each time he (God) said, "My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness...."



In our weakness, he is strong.  He fights for us.

It's easier to run from our problems (notice I didn't say it was easy) than to face them head on.  When we face them though, we become stronger.  Believe me, I want to run!  I'm often tempted to take the easier path.  I don't know anyone who is a bigger coward than I am.  When it comes to fight vs flight mode, I am ALWAYS in flight mode.  Lately I haven't even been arguing to defend myself with any accusations because I frankly don't have the energy to fight them anymore.  I have to depend on Christ to help me get through this though.

We all have our weaknesses, but let's face them together!