Strong Tower

So yesterday I wrote a blog on what lights your fire, and now that I think about it, I'm surprised I was able to write it okay because I ended up having a psychotic episode for several hours yesterday.  I was careless and accidentally took the wrong meds - skipping my antipsychotic.  I had delusional thinking and paranoid over the most stupid stuff.  I kept hallucinating.  I kept thinking I saw things moving (like lights) and kept thinking I saw someone standing in front of me, but when I looked up it was gone.  Then I kept feeling like something was tapping me on my head.  Of course, the voices came back too.  I kept hearing someone shouting my name even though I was home alone - there's no way my cat could shout my name!  I put my headphones in my ears and had to keep cranking up the volume, trying to drown out the voices.  It was like this for several hours!  I was an absolute wreck.  I'm terrified to see what all I must've posted on Facebook yesterday 😰

Anyway, there's a song (now that I've calmed down and am a little more sane) that I used to listen to often, I even used to play my bass to it (it was kinda fun for a beginner anyway).  I still like the song, I just hadn't heard it in a while.  When I listened to it this morning, I thought "I should've listened to this yesterday!"  I did listen to another good song though, "Hold Me Now" by Red.  That was comforting some too.

So, "Strong Tower," how this could've helped me I'm sure!  In the midst of our trials, whatever they may be for you (like yesterday it was my psychotic episode), we have a strong tower we can go to.  Here's the chorus:


You are my strong tower
A shelter over me
Beautiful and mighty
Everlasting king
You are my strong tower
Fortress when I'm weak
Your name is true and holy
And your face is all I see


In the words of Han Solo

It is ABSOLUTELY true!  No matter what it is you're going through, we have someone who can protect us, someone who can defend us.

He will cover you with his feathers.  He will shelter you with his wings.  His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Psalm 91:4

I had this vision once (yes, I used the "v" word, and I VERY rarely have them) of things going on in a small room (this story would take too long to get into details though so I'll spare you all the details).  There was no way out and I just got on my knees, covering my ears with my hands and keeping my eyes shut in tears.  Jesus comes over to me and kneels down in front of me, and just holds me, telling me how everything is going to be okay.  I just buried my face in his chest as he was protecting me from the things around me.  

Y'all, he does that for us, not just in visions, not just in dreams, he REALLY does that for us!  Even when it seemed like my brain was betraying me yesterday, believe me, I wanted to escape it.  I told my husband if there was ever a time I wanted to get high to escape, it was right then.  But even if I had, it wouldn't change anything.  My problems would still be there in the end.  It's just like cutting or binge eating.  A short, temporary relief, but when the euphoria is done, you're still faced with the same problems that were there before, and perhaps even more so now than before (like having to explain to my husband or my parents why they see where I've cut myself).  

I know I say this often, but we've got to FIX OUR EYES ON JESUS!  When we are weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).  He is there and wants to help us in our time of need.  Focus on him.  No matter what problems we have in life, he is BIGGER than them!  I mean think about it, he defeated death!  Jesus literally suffered and died for us - then came back to life!

"No one can take my life from me.  I sacrifice it voluntarily.  For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again.  For this is what my Father has commanded."

John 10:18

He is a big God, he can help us no matter what we're going through.  Put your focus on him.