Not Gonna Die

This entry will probably be similar to the last one.  I'm trying to keep telling myself, as well as others who are struggling, that we can get through this!  NOTHING is worth killing yourself over.  Life cycles.  Whatever you're going through, even if it feels unbearable and like things can't get any worse, they will get better.  We go through difficult, brutal times in our lives, and then we have joyous times in our lives.  Things can always be worse than they are, but on the flip side things can always be better than they are.  Believe me, I've gone through both.  There's a deep darkness in me that very few people know about.  I don't think even they understand just how deep the darkness is in me.  It's a daily struggle to get past.  This darkness pulls me under and I can't breathe.  I'm drowning.  But I don't drown forever.  The Lifeguard rescues me just in time.  He doesn't always rescue me when I start drowning, but He does come when I'm just about to slip under.  I've also experienced great joy.  I married the love of my life.  A couple years ago after I had one of my suicide attempts, I realized just how much God loves me and it gave me great joy.  Sometimes, I forget just how much He loves me, and it puts me in a depression all over again.

With Christ's help, we can be overcomers!  We CANNOT let the enemy win!  Do not let suicide or self-harm even be an option - the enemy would love nothing more than to destroy you.  Endure!  I know it can seem impossible to endure our pain, but we can do it!  No matter how difficult it may be, I know for me it can be so difficult it is literally really hard for me to physically breathe (though some of that may be my weight too).  We can get through this, with God's help.  Let's fight for our lives together!