Release Me From This Snare

I've been listening to Christian music lately, trying to help me think more positively.  One of my favorite rap songs (yes, sometimes I like rap) is "Release Me From This Snare" by Beautiful Eulogy.  I've been feeling this song.  Here are the lyrics:

[Braille]

I acknowledge my sin to you and I did not cover my iniquity
Theres nowhere to hide from your all seeing eyes
You know everything i can't tell you a lie
You know my own own heart much better than i
You know when i sleep and you know when i rise
You know all the thoughts that go through my mind
From morning to night every moment of pride
I acknowledge my sin to you and I did not cover my iniquity
You know what i've done . you know what I do
So i open my mouth and confess it to you
And you making me new with your spirit at work
To convict me in sin so i know where to turn
And i know where to run. run to your arms
To be cleansed of my sin by the blood of your son
Hey! I acknowledge my sin I know I can't kill it with a knife or a gun
It must be crucified on the cross with your son
Then i can know it is finished and done
Then i can know that i'm truly forgiven
And get to the business of living for you
And its not for my glory but its only for you
And its speaks of your mercy your loving your truth
Give me the faith to believe what you say
And trust in your word when I'm tempted to stray
And to patiently wait for the day you return
I hate my sin it burns!

[hook]
The old will pass away, while I'm still here You hear my pray
Please, wash my sins away oh Lord release me from this snare

[Odd Thomas]

Oh God my sin is great, there's no escaping it
I hate my sin but i still partake in it
I've become numb to the touch of feeling it
Ive learned the art and skill of concealing it
I might pretend and keep my composure
Hoping never to disclose the truth that it exposes
And even though nobody around me knows it
God you notice it
And when I alone it shows it
I do a good job doing good deeds
Look the right part cause I say the right things
Trust your word, and whats best for me
But it seems that I still live in disbelief
I begin to better understand confession
When I understand the weight of my sin and its effect
And How it's a direct reflection of my selfishness
And recognize your correct assessment
I don't have to hide behind my own pride
Tear myself up from the guilt inside
Because I've been given everything I've ever needed
To stand clean and forgiven when I received Jesus

[hook]
The old will pass away, while I'm still here You hear my prayer
Please, wash my sins away oh Lord release me from this snare

I have a major guilt conscience.   I deal with a lot of guilt from my past.  I know I can't hide anything from God's eyes.  He sees everything I do, and he sees inside my heart and my thoughts.  I can't lie to God.  He sees right through it.  But when I confess my sins to God, he makes me new. 

I tell my husband the place I want to be in the most is Christ's arms.  Sure there are some places I want to go to like Japan or Israel, but out of any place I could go to, I want to be in Jesus' arms.  There's safety and comfort in his arms.  I'm a very fearful person and when I'm in Christ's arms, nothing can come near me.  Nothing can get through him, nothing can separate us.  I have nothing to fear when I'm in his arms. 

It took a lot to cleanse me of my sins though.  It took Christ's blood on the cross to save me.  That's how we're forgiven.  Through Christ's sacrifice God forgives us when we ask him to.  I want to live for Christ.  There's a part of me that wants to die, but there's a part of me that wants to live too.  I don't want to dishonor God by taking my life.  Sometimes I feel like there are no other options but I know I have to keep living, for Christ to be glorified.  But I hate I sin.  When it says in the song, "I hate my sin it burns" it really does burn my soul.  It's like what Paul says, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."  (Romans 7:15)  I do the things I don't want to do, and I don't do the things I want to do.

My sin is great, in that it cost a lot for God to forgive me.  Sometimes I can hide my sins from the world, but it can't be hidden from God.  I beat myself up a lot for the things I do and think.  But I don't need to, that's not what God wants for me to do.  He's forgiven me, so I need to accept his forgiveness.

The chorus of the song, "The old will pass away, while I'm still here You hear my prayer
Please, wash my sins away oh Lord release me from this snare."  It's true, the old will pass away.  Some day, our sinful nature will pass away and we will be perfect in God's eyes.  But while we're still here, God hears our prayers.  When we ask him to forgive us, he washes our sins away with his blood.  Sin catches us in a snare, it's like a trap!  We get caught in this trap, and the only way we can be released from this trap is to confess to God our sins.  We confess our sins then we "go and sin no more." (John 8:11)  Of course on this side of life, we'll never be perfect and sinless.  But we do our best to not repeat those sins.  We turn from our sins and do what's right.