Never Alone

I've been really struggling lately, and I've been feeling alone in it.  I know I'm not alone, but I feel alone.  I have a husband who loves me, friends who support me, and most of all a God who has promised to never leave me nor forsake me.  But even in the midst of all these people, I feel alone in my struggle.  Do you feel that way?  Like you're the only one?  Like no one understands or relates to you?  I've been feeling like I'm trying to gasp for air while something is choking me to death.  Some people have commented, "You like feeling this way.  You like the attention."  I hate this!  I don't want the attention, I want help!  I want to feel whole again.  I feel so empty.  But I know some day I will be whole, we all will.  It's a long process, and some day I will be whole.  I won't always be broken.  God doesn't keep his precious children broken forever.  We can't fix ourselves, let alone fix each other.  Only God can fix us.  We try to fix things and we often times end up making things worse off than they were before.  So we need to trust God to take care of us during those times.  He shapes us, molds us, like clay.  Clay is messy.  I took a ceramics class in high school and when I got on the wheel and tried to get the clay to do what I wanted it to do, I couldn't do it.  I'd make a huge mess, it took two class periods once for me to even clean the wheel but that's besides the point.  Clay is messy and it doesn't always do what you want it to do.  Sometimes it can be stubborn (or at least in my experience, I could just not be very good at it).  But God, molds us, shapes us with his hands, and it can be a painful process.  He takes extra pieces of clay off of us.  And even after he's done shaping us, we still have to go in the fire (or the kiln).  But in the end, we become this beautiful creation, made in his image.  Sometimes we have to go through really difficult trials that seem hopeless and like there's no end to them.  But we don't go through them alone.  You have your loved ones and your friends, but even if you don't have those, God says he will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5; Deuteronomy 31:6).  Deuteronomy 31:6 says "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."  Let's face our trials courageously, like lambs with the faces of lions, because what have we got to fear when God is with us?

I've been listening to this song by Barlow Girl called "Never Alone" and I've been really feeling the lyrics.  Here are the lyrics, maybe they'll resonate with you as well.

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

[Chorus:]
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life

We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

( http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/barlowgirl/neveralone.html )